Common Computer

-ERRORS-

1. No Display

• You don't have one
• Computer not turned on
• Computer not plugged in
• Power Failure
• Nuclear War

2. Keyboard Inoperative

• You don't have one
• Computer is Upside Down
• Little green men are inside your machine pressing delete every time you hit a key
• Crazy Glue was spilled on the entire keyboard
• Nuclear War

3. Disk Drive won't work

• You don't have one
• Your drive detects the presence of a *DATASETTE* and won't work
• It doesn't feel like it
• Not today, it has a headache (probably from the banging from the last commercial software)
• The last Coke you spilled on it did it in
• Nuclear War

4. Printer Won't Work

• You don't have one
• It doesn't like your style of writing
• It doesn't like printing out pornographic pictures
• It's not a printer, it's a clever Russian listening device
• You accidentally put it in the bathtub last night and it hasn't dried out yet
• Nuclear War

5. Too many Out Of Memory Errors

• You're using a V.I.C. 20
• Someone stole your memory chips to put into his V.I.C. 20
• It had a rough day (Do YOU know what it's been doing while you were out? Do you think it's vast intellect would stand by and do nothing?)
• Nuclear War

6. Nuclear War

• Hmm, that's a toughie, I would think you have about 1.2 seconds to find out...

PHEW! It wasn't a nuclear war at all, merely the neighbor's kids playing with their chemistry set!

... which could be worse ...